Jenavieve Phillips. Words are not enough.

Jenavieve Phillips age 28 died on November 16, 2012 in Gilbert, Arizona. Born December 19, 1983 in the Republic of Panama she is survived by her parents Joe Phillips and Jackie Gresh of Douglasville, Georgia, oldest brother Joseph Jr. and his wife Kate and her brother Jonathan. They currently reside in South Korea and Georgia respectively. Also surviving are numerous aunts, uncles, cousins, great-aunts and great-uncles. Even at a young age Jenavieve loved travel and chose just about a year ago to make Gilbert, Arizona her home. An accomplished soccer player she played for and loved BYU Women Soccer and played on the U-19 National Women Soccer Club Champions in 2003. She also served an honorable full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the California San Francisco mission from August 2008 – March 2010. Jenavieve was also a proud employee of Alpine Valley Bread.

Where to start?  I attended a funeral today of someone near my age.  Jen was only a year and half older than me.  It makes it more real.   I grew up with Jen.  She was always so full of life and such an amazing athlete.  She would sleep during seminary, but I think we always knew she was listening.  She didn't care about stereotypes or divisions.  She truly saw everyone just as they were...daughters and son of our Heavenly Father.

As my mom, Drew, and I walked around the room looking at pictures and memories of this amazing young woman, I caught her casket in the other room out of the corner of my eye.  This entire week, as I have been contemplating how this morning would go, I knew one thing - seeing her would not be easy.  I hadn't cried at all this week.  There had been moments when I would think about her, but only a tear or two were shed.  Now I really understand why people want to view a body before it's placed in the ground.  I don't want to call it closure.  There's nothing about seeing a dead person lying in a casket that is "closing" to me.  Seeing Grandpa Sleight wasn't that difficult.  I have been to many funerals where seeing the deceased was not hard.  But seeing adorable Jen laying in that pretty sky blue box with white pillows all around in her white dress...it made life just feel that much more precious. 

I saw Drew reach his hand out to touch the white cover.  He held it together a lot better than I did.  I just wanted to hug her.  I wanted to fall at my knees and tell her how much it meant to me when she hugged me after not seeing her for years.  I wanted to tell her how comforting it was to have her as my navigator on our temple trip to Birmingham.  I wanted to tell her how much I missed seeing her moves on the dance floor when we went out for hers and my roommate Becca's birthdays.

The service was beautiful.  So many memories.  So much life.  My mom reminded me about our Young Women's basketball team in the Powder Springs Stake.  We had one maneuver.  Give the ball to Jen.  She'll make it in.  I remember when she almost fell out of her chair one morning in seminary.  She would tilt her chair back and try to balance by putting her foot on the chair in front.  We knew when she was in a deep sleep because she'd almost fall over.  I remember her fighting with the guy at Wendy's because all she wanted was a plain potato, nothing on it.  She said she'd pay for the entire thing, but she couldn't eat the other stuff.  The guy just didn't understand. 

I can't imagine what her parents are going through.  I really can't imagine what was going through my mom's head.  All I kept thinking was that no parent should outlive their child.  When I first heard the news, I just kept thinking she was robbed of so much more life that she had to live.  But she fulfilled her life and her purpose here on Earth.  Listening to the amazing stories and hearing the words of lives that she has touched.  I know Heavenly Father has a much better purpose for her in Heaven. 

I'll miss you, girl.  You always had a smile on your face and a warm hug.  I know you're still with us.  And I know you hear all the prayers we have in our hearts.  You won't ever be forgotten.