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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

How they crumble and they fall - As I surrender all...

Countenance: a person’s behavior or the way a person’s face expresses his or her character.


I had a pretty delightful talk with KO in Sunday.  The monthly check-up to see how everything is going.  I was a little taken when he started saying that my countenance radiated the best now then it has in a very long time.  A little background - I've known KO since I was 11.  Needless to say, he's known me pretty well for a very long time.  For him to say a comment like this, I started crying.  Not bad tears.  Relieving tears.  He continued to say "That doesn't mean your life is perfect and you don't have trials.  It just means that whatever you're doing - hold on to it.  Keep doing it."

It made me start thinking.  What AM I doing?  My scripture reading has taken a backslide lately.  Prayers don't come as easy.  It hit me.  My choices.  The choices that I am making in my life are finally the ones I should be.  Please don't misconstrue that to I have a set of rules that I must follow.  It's not that at all.  There are guidelines that I choose to follow.  And I can honestly say - with all of my heart - that they have been the right choices.

I've thought about it a lot lately.  I've never doubted the things that I learned in church.  I never doubted how I felt.  I just went through my hard-headedness where I thought I was right about everything.  And I was wrong.  I know that now.  I have been the happiest in the last several months than I have in a long time.  And it's because of the values that I'm hanging on to.  The values that I am looking for in a guy.  I'm not settling this time.  It's all or nothing.

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