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Thursday, August 25, 2011

In the beginning...

I was cleaning out some files from my computer at work and came across something I sent to Michael in the early part of our relationship.  I believe this was a couple days before our first day and when we'd run up our text messaging into the 4,000's.  Funny how things progress. 


I am a cancer which makes me stubborn and head strong (watch out!) I can wriggle both of my ears but I'm especially good at wiggling just my right ear. Freakish. I know.

I am artistic, creative and musically inclined. And I'm not trying to just make myself sound awesome, even though I am. =P  My mom gave me all of that and she is my best friend.

I started college at BYU and got kicked out for breaking the honor code. It was a rough time for me and I'm happy to say that I am no where near where that person was. Since then I have started college two times and switched my major twice. I'm hoping to finish with Psychology and work on a Masters in Social Work. I want to help kids.

My brother and I were best friends until my sister was born and then we fought all the time until he got married. He is probably my second best friend (next to my mom) and his opinion of guys matters more to me than anyone. You may be able to charm my mother, but be careful with him. :)

I'm a very passionate and emotional person. I feel wronged when someone wrongs a friend. I take things personal. I cry at happy moments in movies. Music makes me tear up, sometimes. I have come to love life immensely and take joy in most everything, especially my family.

I love my family. I am very close to them. Including my bratty little sister. There's nothing I love more than spending time with them. I love to hang out with my parents. I even ruin their date nights. :)

I love the Beatles. My sister got me into them. My mom gave us Beatles Monopoly sets for Xmas last year. I collect Monopoly sets. I have Beatles Rock Bank that my family likes to jam out to. We're a pretty lively bunch.

I've had my ups and downs. I hit pretty hard after leaving BYU in 2004 and I don't think I fully recovered until this last year. I went down the wrong path several times, but like I said before something last year clicked. I don't think I've ever been as strong in the church as I am now. However, I do regret some things in my past and wish I can change them. But I know when I look back it's those things that got me here, eventually.

There's nothing I want more in my life than to be sealed to my family and the person that I love. I was not raised with a priesthood member in the house and I think that coincides with the choices that I made as a teenager. Because of that, I want those things for my family. I refuse to settle for anything less.

My parents got divorced when I was 8. My birth dad cheated on my mom with my dentist when we lived in Germany. He is now in a miserable marriage with her and I have a 15 year old half brother. I resent him for having the father that I didn't have but I know it's not his fault. It's taken therapy for me to realize he'll never be the father I need him to be. But that's okay. Because in 2005 my mom married an incredible man that shares the same principles that we do. 

I think that I have trust issues because of my birth dad. Not just because of what he did to my mom, but the last 10 years. Strangely enough, I find it very easy to spill my life story to you.

I have only been in one relationship with a Mormon and it did more harm than good. With that said, I have no idea what the boundaries are with a Mormon relationship. I'm known to be keen and honest and say what's on my mind. I can also be impulsive which is something that I have to watch.

I am pretty laid back and easy going. I love to hang out with friends and just be around people. If I'm ever down or withdrawn, there's probably something bothering me. I wear my emotions on my sleeves. People know where they stand with me. But I don't like confrontation. I get overly emotional when I'm stressed or frustrated and I hate people yelling at me. It usually results in the withdrawn, shy Nubia.

I like you. I had seen you around FHE before and you had caught my eye before. Unfortunately, I have this problem with being a wuss. I haven't smiled this much in a long time and in the last couple days, everything seems brighter. I haven't talked to anyone this candid before. It does scare me though. 

I absolutely love this man.  Ü


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