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Monday, August 29, 2011

Where did it happen?

It's hard to say where things began to disconnect, but over the last few months, things have just spiraled.  Perhaps it was the feeling that everything we did had to be one-upped.  Perhaps it was simply that we were cut out.  I voiced my opinion months ago and despite the wishy-washy feelings, decisions were made.  Beds were made.  So why not just lie in it?  

ru·mor - [roo-mer] noun. gossip; hearsay: Don't listen to rumor.

I understand the damaging effects of rumors.  I understand the idea that rumors are like releasing feathers in the wind.  I also understand that we haven't spoken to them other than pleasantries until last night.  I didn't want it to go this far.  But Michael felt wronged.  I'm not saying that they're to blame 100%.  I will take part of that blame.  But where did it all go wrong?

Did Michael and I suddenly feel "better" than them?  I didn't have such negative feelings toward another couple.  So, what was it about them?  What was it about the situation that got under my skin?  I feel bad for how things have happened.  I have a genuine concern for him and where this is all going.  Does judging the situation from the outside make me a bad person?  I've heard things from various people, but I've never confirmed the story.  Does that mean I have more to do with this than I thought?

I'm trying not to be judgmental.  I'm really trying to come up with the right words to say, but I feel they will not do any good.  They're just words.  And with some people, they just go in one ear and out the other.

So why do I feel so crappy?  How did I start anything?

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