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Monday, August 6, 2012

A Letter to My Sister

Dear Franchesca,

Perhaps I should have written this awhile ago.  I just can't believe how much you have grown up.  And I can't believe you're leaving.  But I do worry about you.  I worry a lot.  I worry that you aren't ready for such a big leap.  I worry that you will get out to Austin and within a few months, realize that it wasn't the right decision.  There's nothing wrong with making wrong decisions.  Trust me.  But I just hope you realize that the feeling in the pit of your stomach does mean something.

There is nothing wrong with moving home.  This doesn't mean you failed in your endeavors.  It's just a speed bump.  I moved home twice after I graduated.  It was completely scary for me.  Especially when people I graduate high school with started to graduate college.  I thought I was such a failure.  I hadn't graduated college and I'm still living with my parents.  All the other stuff didn't matter.  It didn't matter that I had been working full time for 40+ hours a week and taking classes.  It didn't matter that I was paying all my own bills.  I just kept looking at it like everyone that would see me would think I wasn't going anywhere in life.  That's not true at all.  Look at me.  Look at Juan. 

We all care about you.  Maybe that's why we all get so filled with emotions when we're upset at each other.  Because there's so much love there for each of us.  Mom and Keith just want to know that you're safe and that you're thinking things through.  That you understand the financial burden you are about to take on.  And it makes us all really worry when we hear that you're playing on the streets for money.  Where did this person come from?  What happened to little naive Frankie?  I'm not saying that growing up and having the courage to do things is bad.  But we all worry about your safety and if you're really thinking about consequences or you're just seeing the instant satisfaction.

It's great to have dreams and ambitions.  I really wish that at 23 I knew what I wanted to do with my life.  But it's also wise to have a plan.  To save up and move when it's ready.  When everything is ready.  When there is security on the other end.  Making a decision whether it's blind or it's to follow someone else is never a smart idea.  I do hope that it all works out, but remember, we are scared for you.

You can always come home.  Please remember that.  No matter if we're all in different states, you can always come home to one of us.  You're my little sister and I worry about you like crazy.  I just hope you know that.  I hope you know that when we talk about you, it's because of how much we love you.  Because we all know what kinds of people and what kinds of dangers are in the world.  We also know how hard it is to struggle.  To live paycheck to paycheck.  We just want more for you.  I love you, Frankie.  I hope you know that.  I am so proud of how much you've grown up, but I am so worried that this is not the right direction for you to go in.


2 comments:

  1. This is very sweet, and I hope your sister gets to read it.

    But, I also hope you recognize that no matter how heart-felt the words and good the intentions, they are unlikely to change her mind. My son is 20, and has already made so many decisions that have paralyzed me with fear that I've lost track. I think it's the age. At least, that's what I'm hoping in my case; I pray every day that he'll be safe until the day he starts to make decisions that are not quite so worrisome. That's what I'll hope for your sister, too. That, and that she knows how much you love her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I realize that she's still going to do what she wants. But it doesn't make it any harder. I have to admit. Now I know what my went through when I made stupid decisions. Funny how that happens!

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