Round 4

I'm still kind of in the middle of round 4, but so far...not looking positive (see what I did there?).  On another note, I'm getting really good at peeing in a cup...except at 5am.  :(  Okay, that may have been more information than I should have shared, but that is my journey right now.  I've been doing ovulation tests two times every day since last Thursday (or Friday...I don't remember).  I've read where women do them three times a day.  Not exactly something I want to do while at work though.  So I'll stick with two.  I have an appointment scheduled for Wednesday to have a ultrasound to make sure there aren't any blockages or cysts in my tubes and ovaries.  I'm kind of worried about it.  I mean, we already know that I'm not ovulating like I should be.  This would just be one more thing to add to the list.  On the plus side, if it's something that can be fixed, then it may make things better.  Who knows, right?

I'm still trying to stay as positive as possible.  In doing so, we decided to go ahead with our Ireland trip.  I'm actually in a much better place about it than I was a couple weeks ago.  I'm not looking at it like an impending doom because we can't have kids.  I'm looking at it as our big hoorah before babies come.  Ü  I know Michael is really excited about it being back on.  His passport paperwork is all ready and he just needs to do pictures and send it in.  Mine on the other hand?  It seems my passport has disappeared.  I looked through all of the boxes in the garage last summer that I thought they could be in and I have no idea where else it could be hiding.  There are a few more boxes upstairs that I'm going to tear apart this weekend.  I hate to pay to get another one when mine is only three years old and has Germany and Italy stamps.  :(  It makes me so sad!!

I'm really not stressing about the baby thing.  Yes, it is disheartening at times and yes, I do often wonder why us?  But overall I know that this is the path we are supposed to be on and I have faith that our parenting time will come when Heavenly Father feels it is time to.  We have started the adoption process through LDS Family Services.  I still need to call about our home study though.  But we're not giving up and we're not letting it get to us too much.  We're just trying to enjoy the time we still have as just us and our two furry children as much as possible.  We're trying to see friends and go out when we can.  I'm also looking into Master's programs and planning on taking the GRE in September!  Huge step.  Staying in college was easy.  You just kept registering.  But getting back into it is tough.  On one hand I'm super excited to get back into that routine, but on the other hand I'm dreading it because I was always so tired.  Since graduating, I've been going to bed early and I've had more time with Michael.  It's been wonderful. order to get into the career that I want to, I need to push on.  I knew that from the beginning. 

So all in all, things are as they are.  They're good on some levels and not so great on others.  But we're just trying to keep our heads high and know that through our faith, anything is possible.


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