TH's Special Day
There are a lot of things that I have learned from our adoption experience. Let me first start by saying our experience was not the norm - at all. If you read my entry from September 2016 you'll see how our process went. We know Heavenly Father put N in our path for this reason. But we got so much more out of it than a daughter.
If there's one thing I've learned it's no two adoptions are alike. There are so many circumstances that make up someone's adoption journey and those experiences will shape their lives forever. I've read stories of angry adoptees from 20, 30 years ago. Back then adoption was handled much differently. Children were raised under the guise that they were all related by birth. Then their world is rocked when they find out the truth. I'm not calling out anyone for doing something wrong, because back then, people did what they thought was right for the time. Over the last decade or so, the adoption universe has shifted. There are many more open adoptions. There is much more communication and openness among all the family. Our mentality was always "If there's more people to love our child, how can that be wrong?"
I also learned that circumstances around an expectant mother placing their child is not always what stigma says. The average woman placing is in her mid-20s and more than likely has a full-time job and may or may not already be parenting a child. While teenage pregnancies often do lead to placement, the extended family will also step in and help care for the child. Placing children is not always a situation of "they weren't wanted". Most women place out of love for their child. They were wanted, but they believed another family could provide better. I do believe it is an act of selflessness. It's the ability to see what your child needs and understand your shortcomings in that life.
Our adoption journey has certainly helped open my eyes. It's led me to family I never knew I needed in my life. TH's tummy mommy and brother have become part of our family. It's a situation a never imagined we'd be in, but I know this is the way it was supposed to be. We prayed over this girl. We've prayed over her family. And we never felt like we were wrong. Today marks one year since TH's finalization. I'm not a huge fan of the term "gotcha day" so we're thinking of something else. Maybe just "TH's Special Day." We're celebrating small. Just the three of us. Maybe one day there will be a fourth - also by adoption. But for now, this little family is my whole world and I can't imagine where I would be without the love and extras she brings to us.
If there's one thing I've learned it's no two adoptions are alike. There are so many circumstances that make up someone's adoption journey and those experiences will shape their lives forever. I've read stories of angry adoptees from 20, 30 years ago. Back then adoption was handled much differently. Children were raised under the guise that they were all related by birth. Then their world is rocked when they find out the truth. I'm not calling out anyone for doing something wrong, because back then, people did what they thought was right for the time. Over the last decade or so, the adoption universe has shifted. There are many more open adoptions. There is much more communication and openness among all the family. Our mentality was always "If there's more people to love our child, how can that be wrong?"
I also learned that circumstances around an expectant mother placing their child is not always what stigma says. The average woman placing is in her mid-20s and more than likely has a full-time job and may or may not already be parenting a child. While teenage pregnancies often do lead to placement, the extended family will also step in and help care for the child. Placing children is not always a situation of "they weren't wanted". Most women place out of love for their child. They were wanted, but they believed another family could provide better. I do believe it is an act of selflessness. It's the ability to see what your child needs and understand your shortcomings in that life.
Our adoption journey has certainly helped open my eyes. It's led me to family I never knew I needed in my life. TH's tummy mommy and brother have become part of our family. It's a situation a never imagined we'd be in, but I know this is the way it was supposed to be. We prayed over this girl. We've prayed over her family. And we never felt like we were wrong. Today marks one year since TH's finalization. I'm not a huge fan of the term "gotcha day" so we're thinking of something else. Maybe just "TH's Special Day." We're celebrating small. Just the three of us. Maybe one day there will be a fourth - also by adoption. But for now, this little family is my whole world and I can't imagine where I would be without the love and extras she brings to us.
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